Mother and children, oil on canvas, 1941, Fernando Amarsolo
My work, like others who choose to take on the role of homemakers, revolves much around the daily tasks that make up a home; the cooking, dusting, mopping and scrubbing, and not to mention the disciplining and training of children.
Unless I pause and reflect on why I chose this old-age and oftentimes devalued profession, it is easy for me to feel despair at all the endless tasks that await me every morning.
In a classic 1943 novella called The Little Prince, an astute fox shared this bit of wisdom that I continue to find enlightening and very comforting.
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
And so it is, with the daily rounds of a homemaker.
Fernando Amarsolo
Seen outwardly, the tasks of making a home appears to be steeped in drudgery. What was cleaned, becomes soiled, and what was served gone just as soon as they were placed on the table (or so it feels to this beleaguered cook) save for the grease stains left behind after hours in the kitchen.
If I value my work through the eyes that only see the physical aspects of homemaking, I can easily become disheartened.
Gratefully the clever fox reminded me there is so much more that goes on than the eyes can see. And in my situation, homemaking tasks that appear mundane but are in essence, vital and life-giving for humanity.
For example, it is only through the heart that one can see the amount of love that goes in preparing a meal; it involves creating a menu that would make use of ingredients already available in the pantry so that none goes to waste. It also requires that the tastes and nutritional needs of family members be taken into consideration.
Next, there is the thoughtful purchasing of produce from the market or for those who are industrious, picked fresh from the garden.
A basket of mangoes, oil on canvas, 1949, Fernando Amarsolo
Then with deft hands, onions, garlic, spices, meat and veggies are pared and chopped into bite-sized morsels or pounded into granules to blend smoothly into liquid.
Finally, the proper method of heating is applied to produce a particular result; whether it be crispy, crunchy, creamy or soupy. The balance must be right, its spiciness and tanginess offset by its sweetness, and salted just so.
And all this while the kitchen is alive with the sounds, movements and presence of the wife and mother. The delicious smells she created from her cooking reassure family members that good things are to come, and for this moment at least, things are all right with the world.
Our work is essential; our feminine touches revive the flagging spirit of our husbands, our children thrive with the warmth, gentleness and encouragement we show, our kindness and consideration lift the poor, the sick and the elderly in positive and altruistic ways.
What has been described may seem so idyllic that I baulk even as I write. So much pressure. It's much simpler to pull my sleeves up and tackle my to-do lists, barking at my children to do their part. But there is resentment simmering away underneath my frantic busy work. What happened to my labour of love? All these chores are taking up so much of my time!
I need to take a step back and remind myself that in these seemingly simple tasks that when done unselfishly and purely out of love, this is when the real, essential work begins, that the tediousness is lifted to the realms of the extraordinary.
In a world that places high value on high-touch and personalised customer services, the very nature of a homemaker's work is to attend to the details of everyday life; creating quality of living for others, often foregoing expectations of reward, recognition and monetary compensation.
Our work may be invisible to the eyes of the world, but in the hearts of those who love us dearly, a homemakers' daily cares take on spiritual importance. Anyone can be hired to cook and clean, but it takes a woman whose heart is at home to create an abode that brings comfort and solace and a place of belonging for those within her intimate circle.
Allah knows best.
Painting by Fernando Amarsolo
No comments:
Post a Comment