After the high of Ramadan culminating in the joyous occasion that is Eid, there is a natural letdown in spirit and mood in the days that follow, personally speaking of course.
It must be said though, that this year's Ramadan has not been as spiritually fulfilling as I would have liked. Being a mother to a rambunctious 11-month-old baby boy drew heavily on my limited reservoir of patience, willpower, and energy. I was forced to stay home with this handful of joy while others retreat to the Masjid for Tarawih prayers. I felt like an outsider looking at a window display full of gorgeous mouthwatering desserts just out of reach.
The lonely nights praying Tarawih at home did not feel the same, nor did it feel equal to the Tarawih I had performed last Ramadan in congregation. Last year I allowed nothing to stand in my way of attending Tarawih--not even the baby in my tummy who's decided to come early into this world just a couple of days shy of Eid!
I must remind myself that Tarawih is a voluntary prayer. I should be most grateful that God has granted me ease and comfort in meeting my fasting obligation especially as I was breastfeeding my baby. I am reminded of the Prophet's saying, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any gates of Paradise she wishes."
Instead of mourning over the juma'ah I could not attend, I must ask myself the 4 pertinent questions inherent from the hadith above; have I performed the 5 daily prayers with khushu' (solemnity and full submissiveness)? Was my fasting acceptable? ie did I also keep in check my tongue, eyes, ears, hands, and feet from wrongdoing? Have I preserved my chastity by practicing modesty and self-restraint? Did I obey my husband willingly? Even though it feels inconvenient to me?
Masha'Allah, what a reality check! In other words; keep it simple, sister! I must keep in mind this checklist when I forget to put first thing's first. It is especially important in this day of age when everyone else seems so much ahead of me.
Another hadith equates the pregnant and nursing mother to a soldier on active duty. If she dies, she receives the reward reserved for a martyr! Praise be to God, I am right where the action is, deep in the trenches of motherhood!
So, what's past is past. Learn from it to better my future. May Allah grant me opportunities to celebrate many more Ramadans and Eids in the coming years. Ameen.
No comments:
Post a Comment