Slow and Steady Wins the Race, Insha'Allah

I've been hemming and hawing, tinkering, polishing, yet have nothing much to show for my so-called Creative Dream.

I couldn't decide which part I should work on first. I kept changing my mind about it, making all kinds of excuses about how it's not good enough, not original enough, ad nauseam. If the publisher hadn't called me to say she's interested, I would've abandoned the whole idea yet again. Having someone to answer for kept me chained to my desk. Unfortunately, my eyes kept wandering to the clock on the wall which only intensified the urgency I felt. And do I have ants in my pants? Every time my baby twitches or groans in his sleep I'd find myself jumping up from my seat. What a horrible experience!

Pursuing my Creative Dream felt a lot like going through my hubby's stash of lost socks and trying to find a mate to match the one that just came out from the laundry basket. It is not the ecstasy that I came to expect when I was fresh out of design college fantasizing about living the creative life.

Just to show how desperate I was, I binged on a novel by Sophie Kinsella by day and watched Gossip Girl by night .

It is not like I'm working on a great novel, heck it's not even for young adults...it's for kiddies for goodness sake. Sigh.I admit I am deathly afraid of sending my pock-marked work out into the world. Perfectionist strikes again and this time it's holding me back from doing the work I love.

But then I am reminded of a system called 'Micromovements' introduced by SARK in her book, 'Make Your Creative Dreams Real'. I ONLY have to take tiny actions which can last from 5 seconds to 5 minutes. Fine, that doesn't look too hard. So during a lull one quiet afternoon, I gave myself 5 minutes to switch the computer on and tinker to my heart's content. I promised myself some reading time once my time is up. Soon enough my minutes are over but lo and behold, I found myself on a creative roll and I did not want to stop!

This system got rid of the guilt I felt when I could only make a couple of simple sketches for my work and nothing else. It also gave me permission to celebrate my turtle-like work style. At least I'm no longer stuck in that perfectionist hole I keep falling into. And that is a big turnaround for me, Praise be to God.

I'm now in the habit of switching my computer on standby mode and leaving my notebook ready on my desk for whenever inspiration strikes or when time and family commitments allow. Besides it's very rare that I get to have chunks of time to spend on my projects; Real Life always gets in the way. But I've come to believe that tiny movements add up to miles of progress. And wasn't it the Turtle who won the race in the end?